


Prank Wars

by AilisCeana, morninwarri0r



Category: Wannabe Challenge (Visual Novel)
Genre: Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Funny, Gen, Housemates, Humor, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 09:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30120435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AilisCeana/pseuds/AilisCeana, https://archiveofourown.org/users/morninwarri0r/pseuds/morninwarri0r
Summary: A series following the Prank War that ensues among three goblins, one fox, and a human within a single house.
Relationships: Kang Biho/Main Character (Wannabe Challenge), Kim Taehee/Main Character (Wannabe Challenge), Yoo Hansol/Main Character (Wannabe Challenge), Yooha/Main Character (Wannabe Challenge)
Kudos: 1





	1. White String of Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! Welcome to our Wannabe Challenge Prank War series! We hope you enjoy the chaos that we have conjured from our joint minds!!

It started when he found pieces of white string on his clothes.

At first, he thought nothing of it. He had just re-organized the closets in the house. Maybe some stray cobwebs had floated into the room—nothing his duster couldn’t handle.

But then he started seeing them elsewhere. In his potted plants, the kitchen counter, the floor… And every time he mentioned it, his housemates merely shrugged it off and dismissed it as him being too much of a “clean freak”. He knew he had a tendency to be more sensitive to these things, so he let it slide, and told himself he was just thinking too much… before wiping down the surfaces till they were back to their pristine, clean state.

Still, the white strings continued to appear. He couldn’t even wear black shirts anymore without feeling irked to the bone. Even his trusty lint roller wasn’t enough to keep them at bay. “Maybe it’s a lint mutation!” Hansol suggested. That was a ridiculous suggestion, of course… but Taehee did buy a new roller. Still it proved to be of little use; the pesky little strings kept coming back like scheming parasites.

By the seventh day, Taehee was beginning to question his sanity. Maybe he’d just worked too many long hours. Maybe his eyes were just tired. Maybe all he needed was a long night of sleep.

For days, the strings plagued his sight, their appearances growing more and more ridiculous. One morning, he even found it on his toothbrush. However, just like before, his housemates responded to his questions with that same indifference.

But he couldn’t get it out of his mind. The white strings consumed his every thought, and it was impossible to avoid them in the house when they seemed to have plagued every corner of his home.

There had to be a scientific explanation behind it—a sickness? But everyone was perfectly healthy. White hairs from stress-induced aging? But he was a goblin…. The others certainly didn’t seem to have developed white hairs either. He got MC to check his head on multiple occasions too, and she had assured him that he wasn’t growing any. He could only take her word for it.

What else could it be? Cobwebs? But cobwebs didn’t form so quickly after being cleaned. And they wouldn’t come in such huge numbers.

The question remained in the back of his mind as he struggled to come up with a reasonable answer, other than one involving him hallucinating. Because he wasn’t. His housemates who weren’t seeing these white strings were clearly going blind.

The last straw was when he was having his morning coffee. One of the rare times he could sit down in peace, take his time to savour the bittersweetness of his special brew. Needless to say it was one of his favourite times of the day.

Until he saw it. The thin white line of his nightmares now floating in the middle of what should’ve been delightful blackness.

Despite the sting of the heat, his fingertips pressed into the ceramic mug in a last attempt to keep his composure. But it was too late. He had reached the end of his tether, and his brain was beginning to tatter.

“Hey, clean freak,” Yooha’s usually unwelcomed voice slashed through the muddled swirl of Taehee’s angry thoughts. The latter looked up, finding the fox waving his open palm in front of him. “What’s with that face?”

“What?” Taehee rasped, brows furrowing in annoyance. He could already sense the stupid comment on his upturned lips.

“Usually, when you drink your coffee, you turn all pensive—like an old man,” Yooha shrugged. He took a casual sip of his wine. What lunatic even drank this early? “But you looked really pissed just now.”

Taehee blew out a sharp huff. If this fox knew what was good for him, he’d stay away. Anger was coursing through his veins and Taehee had been wound up too tight; he was _this_ close to snapping.

“Oi. Kim Taehee. You okay? Why aren’t you—”

“I can’t…” Taehee mumbled through his gritted teeth.

“—drinking your coffee?”

“I CAN’T!”

Taehee’s shout echoed in the empty living room, and for the first time Yooha actually looked a little scared of him. The fox’s speechlessness made an awkward silence settle between the two as Taehee mentally berated himself for losing control over his temper like that. He had to stay calm. Be calm. Calm…

“Woah… yeah you’re definitely not okay. Wanna talk about it?”

The sound of Yooha’s voice ignited yet another spark of rage within him, and before he could do something else he would regret, Taehee grabbed his cup and emptied its tainted contents into the sink.

Yooha gaped at him expectantly, though a trace of awe and fear were still visible between his furrowed brows. He probably thought Taehee was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Oh, God…Taehee hoped he didn’t go into one of his rambles praising his own wisdom guised as shoddy advice. Not now.

However, the goblin was saved from such torture by the soft pad of footsteps down the stairs.

“What’s going on? I heard yelling.”

MC’s voice drifted from the stairs, and soon she came into view, bed head still fresh and her eyes smaller than usual, groggy with sleep. Taehee’s heart gave a small leap in response. As usual.

And apparently, it wasn’t alone.

The fox perked up, sitting straighter in his seat and his previously lazy demeanor turning almost puppy-like.

“Ah, MC,” he said, a grin now stretching across his lips. Taehee barely held back his own smile at her presence which now whittled away at his annoyance. “Good morning! Did you dream of me?”

Taehee rolled his eyes at Yooha’s unnecessary wink. MC was equally unamused, tired as she was, though she did spare him a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, sure did,” she replied with a brief smile, before her attention turned to Taehee. It was strange how easily she could calm him down. Just one look from her and he felt his breathing start to slow down, and the angry, scrambled thoughts in his mind began to scatter. All that was left was a pounding in his chest as he met her concerned stare.

“Is… everything okay?”

With practised ease, the corners of his lips lifted into a smile, erasing any and all traces of irritation from his face. “Yes, everything’s fine.”

“Fine?” Yooha snorted. “This guy nearly had an aneurysm.”

“What?” MC said, her gaze once again snapping towards the goblin. His cheeks heated under the sudden scrutiny.

Feeling slightly embarrassed now at the reason behind his outburst, he waved his hand dismissively. “No, no,” he stammered. “I’m really fine. I’m just… feeling off this morning.”

The girl seemed unconvinced. Her eyes drifted to the dumped coffee in the sink, and Taehee could practically see the calculations behind her forehead.

Abruptly, MC turned to the fox. “Yooha,” she began, startling when he suddenly transported behind her back.

Taehee’s skin tingled when the man slid his arms around her waist.

“Yes, MC?” Yooha hummed.

She promptly swatted his hands away. Taehee smirked in amusement…or maybe triumph.

“Did you make him mad again?” she went on.

Yooha stumbled back in offense, hand over his chest. Dramatic…

“What? No!”

MC crossed her arms, shifting her weight to one hip. Her lips pressed into a fine line as she flayed him with a hard, interrogative stare.

Yooha let out a sharp sigh. “I didn’t! Really!”

He glanced at Taehee, no doubt to clear his name. The latter pursed his lips. Should he clear the air? Technically, Yooha did _add_ to his frustration. His presence alone could sour Taehee’s mood considerably any day, and especially today.

In the span of silence he took to think, MC seemed to interpret it as a confirmation of Yooha’s guilt, and his sentence was passed immediately.

“Go on, apologise to Taehee. You two should make up and at least try to get along.”

“But I didn’t do anything!” Yooha argued, genuinely looking quite upset now. Even MC seemed to be surprised by his reaction.

“Master, you don’t believe me? That’s hurtful…”

And then it happened.

Like a snake, his nine tails unfurled behind him one after another, practically glowing with the blindingly white sheen of his fur.

White. Fur.

The answer had been right in front of him the whole time, the source of his nightmares for the past week right under his nose and Taehee hadn’t so much as noticed.

He should’ve known. Ever since that stupid fox materialized from that scroll, nothing and no one else in this house rattled him as much as he could.

And at this very moment, he was downright _pissed_.

He hadn’t even realized his outstretched hand. His tense fingers were bent into a claw, ready to strangle one of the nine hydras sweeping through the air, further tainting the cleanliness of the house with those loose strands of white.

Rage coursed through his veins, and somehow, his magic followed suit with blue fire flaring into the center of his palm. Taehee hadn’t meant to move his hand any closer to the infuriating white fur. But his fight-or-flight instincts had kicked in, and little by little, those flames licked perilously close to the thin strands until…

“OW!!”

Taehee recoiled as the sharp sound pierced his ears, his anger subsiding enough for him to return to the present moment. He saw MC’s reaction first. Her eyes were wide in shock, and her mouth was frozen in a perfect “o.”

When his gaze fell on the fox again, the tails had vanished. Yooha was storming over to him, anger etched on his usually laidback face. He looked feral.

“Did you seriously just try to burn my tails? Kim Taehee!”

Taehee knew he should apologise. Clearly he was in the wrong here. But his mouth began flapping, retorts bubbling in his throat, unable to restrain himself in front of the fox. Especially when he was the cause of this whole mess in the first place.

“Would you prefer for me to shave them clean instead? Since you’re _shedding_ anyway.”

“You-” Yooha’s voice cut off, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What are you talking about? Me? Shedding? What do you think I am? A common dog?”

“No,” Taehee returned with more composure than he felt. “Dogs are more likeable.”

“Why, you—” Yooha began, though he stopped himself again. His fist was balled tightly at his side, but he seemed to have enough restraint to keep it there. A tense breath wisped from his lips. “Look, you’re having a bad morning. I get it. But just because MC likes my tails more than you doesn’t mean you can abuse your magic fire trick.”

Several unintelligible syllables spluttered from Taehee’s mouth.

Words…he needed to use _words_.

“MC doesn’t— Fire trick? You don’t—”

No, no… sentences. He needed sentences. But his brain was too muddled with his emotions, and that stupid simper on the fox’s face was only making it worse.

“Or maybe… If you wanted to touch my tail so badly, you could’ve asked.”

Taehee was about to open his mouth again when MC’s face appeared in his line of sight, blocking the fox from his view.

“Enough, both of you. It’s too early in the morning for this, let’s just stop here, okay?”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who resorted to violence,” Yooha added stubbornly, shooting a glare in Taehee’s direction.

“It wouldn’t have gotten to this point if you would’ve cleaned after yourself,” he spat. To emphasize his point, he swiped his hand over his sleeve, sending a few tufts of white fluttering into the air.

Yooha squinted at the hair, his features once again contorting in offense. “You think that hair is mine? Is that what this is all about?”

“Think?” Taehee scoffed. “I think we all saw how much hair fell off that fur trap of yours.”

MC groaned and flopped back onto an empty chair. “Guys, can we not—”

“This,” Yooha interrupted, holding up his pinched fingers where Taehee assumed he had caught one of his hairs, “is not mine. Look how coarse and short this is! My fur is softer and longer than this—and whiter!”

“You can’t compare anything when you can barely see that hair between your fingers.”

“Maybe you can’t, since it’s obvious there’s something wrong with your eyes.”

“Oh? Let’s pluck out some of your hair and check then.”

“What? You think this is some kind of game? My tails aren’t for you to screw around with!”

“You always take them out when MC is here anyway. Like a dog wagging its tail for its master.”

“You- Did you just call me a dog again?”

“So on top of excessive shedding you can’t hear right either? Maybe it’s time to take you to a vet.”

“I told you that fur isn’t mine! I’m not shedding!”

Taehee slammed his palm onto the counter. His adrenaline was waning, and he hadn’t even had a sip of coffee. He was getting more exasperated by the second…

“Then what?” he sighed. “Do we suddenly have a cat in the house or something?”

A soft meow interrupted the growing tension between them, and both men turned to MC who was still innocently sitting at the table.

Yooha clicked his tongue, a smile unbefitting of the situation rapidly overtaking his previous scowl. “That was cute, MC, but this is serious,” he said. His palm rested against her mussed hair. “My honor is at stake here.”

“It wasn’t—”

“Yeah MC, I know you’re trying to help us but we need to work this out,” Taehee added, slapping Yooha’s hand away from her head.

She huffed and pushed both of their hands away from her face. “Guys, I said it wasn’t me.”

“Yeah.” A tuft of red hair appeared from the corner of Taehee’s eye. Biho shuffled meekly into the kitchen, and three pairs of eyes followed him curiously. “It was me.”

Yooha’s gaze shifted from Biho to Taehee, then back to the younger goblin. “You…meowed?”

The redhead’s chest heaved in a deep, forlorn sigh. He pressed a hand over his heart and shook his head. “I am deeply sorry for my actions. I didn’t intend for it to go this far.”

“What are you talking about Biho…” Taehee’s voice trailed off when they heard another meow. The younger goblin’s mouth was closed however, and the sound seemed to be coming from his head.

Was this a new power? Taehee had never seen anything like it. Hansol never mentioned anything about Biho’s new ability either.

However, the explanation for the strange occurrence soon made itself known… with its tiny, white ears peeking over Biho’s bright red hair.

Another one of his doleful sighs filled the stunned silence in the room. “I woke up and heard you guys arguing about Yooha shedding.”

“Like I said, I’m not—” Taehee slapped his hand over Yooha’s mouth to shut him up, wanting to listen to Biho instead of that annoying fox’s voice.

“I think it was actually this kitten’s fur… Sorry Taehee, I know it’s been bothering you this whole week.”

Taehee deflated half in relief and half in exhaustion. “Why didn’t you just say something earlier?”

“I was going to, but then you looked very angry about the hair, and I thought you would ask me to get rid of it.” Biho picked up the kitten from his hair and carefully placed it in his arms, cradling it like it was a baby. In return, the kitten nuzzled its face against his hoodie.

“Where did you even get it from? Did you buy it?” Yooha asked, defensively raising a hand up in case Taehee tried to physically shut him up again.

“I found it by the road on the way home,” he replied. “It was in a box all alone and it was raining. It looked like it had been abandoned, and I couldn’t leave it there like that.” His eyes drooped, his gaze turning sad as he gently stroked the kitten in his arms.

MC cooed at the explanation, joining the coddling of the little animal.

Taehee admitted it was touching…and understandable knowing Biho’s story. Still, the fur sticking to the younger goblin’s sleeve was giving him a fresh surge of anxiety.

“Biho,” he began, making sure his voice was gentle lest he upset him with what he had to say. “What you did was good. You probably saved its life, but…”

“We can’t keep it,” Yooha interrupted bluntly, earning him a slap upside the head. And it wasn’t even from Taehee this time.

“Hey,” MC hissed, casting a worried glance towards Biho.

Thankfully, the redhead seemed to expect this. Slowly, he nodded, though he cradled the kitten a little closer to his chest. “I know,” he said. “But can we keep him until we find him a home?”

Taehee opened his mouth to protest but MC held her hand up, no doubt guessing his answer.

“Of course we can,” she said. “We can post it online. I’m sure we can find someone.”

Biho shot her a grateful smile. “Could you help me with that?”

“Sure!” MC jumped up with a grin, before pausing. “Give me ten minutes. I should brush my teeth and wash my face first.”

“Okay, I’ll be in my room.”

Then the both of them left, although MC made sure to elbow Taehee in the side. He didn’t have to look at her to know what she wanted him to do next.

An awkward silence settled once more, now that it was just him and Yooha left in the kitchen. Briefly, he made eye contact with the fox, and Taehee fought the urge to roll his eyes. He doubted they would be able to make up even after this.

“Well? Don’t you have something to say?” Yooha asked with his chin up. Taehee wanted to wipe off that arrogant smirk from his face. But a wrong was a wrong, and he knew what he should do as the more mature one between them.

“Fine. The hair wasn’t yours, I’m sorry.”

“Good.”

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you shed. A lot.”

Silence. Presumably, Yooha was attempting to choose his words carefully, lest another argument broke out. He sighed heavily before speaking again. “Is this your idea of an apology?”

“I did apologise. But I also stated a fact. I clean your closet, you know. Your hairballs are disgusting.”

“I’ll have you know that my tails are amongst the most beautiful—”

“Just make sure you clean up after yourself from now on,” Taehee said, turning to leave. “Or I will personally shave you myself.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Yooha narrowed his eyes. “A mere goblin like you? Hah.”

“Hm. But a fox like you can’t disobey its master, right? All I need is to get MC to agree to it.”

Taehee felt a sense of satisfaction when he saw Yooha’s confident smile falter. Having said his piece, he turned and left for his room, a triumphant smirk playing on his lips as he heard his name echo angrily behind him.


	2. Biho Snooze, Hansol Loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol gets creative in his attempts to wake Biho up.

Every day, Hansol had a to-do list. Chores, if you will. Taehee did most of the household chores voluntarily (the man had explicitly said he didn’t trust any of them to clean or cook properly) but Hansol did have a job of his own in the house.

He glanced over at the sleeping redhead on the bed at the opposite end of their room, narrowing his eyes at the way the baby goblin’s chest rose and fell quietly, the way his innocent face looked so utterly peaceful and rested.

Hansol had the redhead’s sleep cycle memorised to a tee by now. He knew what time Biho should wake up, what time his work shift started, how many times he had overslept and how perilously close he was getting to being fired altogether. Hansol also always made sure that there was enough food for the redhead, and chased him out of the house when the next bus was arriving soon. 

The others had teased him, calling him “Mummy Hansol’’ before. The blond had frowned at the imposed title, telling them off because he was most definitely not Biho’s mother. Or a woman.

But deep down, he knew it was true to some extent. 

Somehow, he had become Biho’s unofficial babysitter, and one of his main jobs—and the most difficult one in this house at that—was the impossible task of waking Biho up every day (or night).

It wasn’t enough to call Biho a deep sleeper. No, that term didn’t even come close to describing just how ridiculously dead Biho was in his sleep. 

The most recent example? There had been a series of storms the past few days. Likely, the youngest goblin’s sleep had been interrupted by the lightning and the booming thunder. At least, that’s what Hansol had thought, being the kind, loving, caring person he was. 

However, after the third day in a row of having to wake the redhead from his slumber, he was sure not even the loudest storm would’ve woken him. Especially since his attempts at jabbing his shoulder with a blunt pen certainly wasn’t working. 

With a groan, Hansol tossed the pen onto the nearby desk. A small stack of papers went fluttering to the floor, but even that only extracted a soft hum from the sleeping stone in front of him. 

For the past few days, Hansol had to scream at the top of his lungs in order to get a small stir from the baby goblin. However, his throat was one tantrum away from being sore, and he needed to preserve it for his gig later.

“Biho,” he pleaded, hands gripping the younger goblin’s shirt. Though he knew it would be fruitless, he shook the cloth in his hands in another attempt to break this enchantment. “One night. Just one night, wake up when I ask.” 

By some miracle, the redhead’s lips parted, though his eyes remained closed. Hansol released a sigh as his knees buckled under the weight of relief. Usually, Biho would mutter a series of short, incoherent sentences before finally, albeit reluctantly, emerging from his slumber. 

Hansol’s voice had been saved… 

Or so he thought. Wrongly. 

Instead of uttering his usual ramblings, Biho rolled to one side and pulled his dolphin plushie into his arms. “Five more minutes.” 

Hansol could’ve forgiven the younger goblin had his voice been muddled, syllables slurred together from the remnants of sleep bogging his brain. However, he spoke with clarity—absolute lucidity. 

The _audacity_. 

Fuming from the blatant disrespect, Hansol clutched his arm once more and flipped him onto his back. Again, he was met with that familiar dopey face. All traces of awakeness were gone…and Hansol’s patience went right with it. 

“KANG BIHO!!” the shout slipped from his throat faster than he could catch it. He slapped his hand over his mouth, mentally apologizing to his poor vocal cords for the screw up. 

Still, the lack of response from the unconscious goblin intensified his exasperation. With a sharp huff, he glanced at the useless alarm clock by Biho’s bedside. If he didn’t manage to really wake the baby, both he and Biho would end up being late. 

He couldn’t use his voice. Physical force couldn’t wake him. Hansol needed to be more creative.

A new determination raced through his veins. He’d always tried to be understanding of Biho, the latter still being a child compared to him. However, today, it was time to enact some discipline. He would do whatever it took… 

His eyes scanned the bed for any ammunition to aid his cause. A blanket? It was already kicked off—and it was too warm in the room anyway. Maybe Biho’s pillow…but, that had somehow found its way at the foot of the bed instead of under his head. 

Finally, Hansol’s eyes landed on the perfect tool: the large, stuffed dolphin. 

He remembered the redhead mentioning how much better he slept when holding something. Maybe, this was the key…

“Sorry, Biho,” Hansol mumbled, though he had difficulty actually feeling remorse at the moment. Carefully, his fingers curled around the snout of the plushie, which was still cradled to Biho’s chest. 

He took one prepping breath…another…

Then he swiped it clean from Biho’s grip. 

“Ha!” he cried, retreating to his own bed in victory. With a small bounce, he leapt onto his mattress and held the dolphin high. He was sure that woke him from the shock alone. No doubt, he’d turn around and watch the baby’s dazed blinks before panic at the time settled. 

However, as he returned his gaze to Biho, he saw no such thing. Disappointment dropped like a weight from his chest straight into his stomach. 

Biho had indeed moved. In fact, the momentum of Hansol’s actions sent his body hurtling to the other side of the bed—but his eyes were still closed. His breaths were still even. His expression was…completely undisturbed. 

Hansol barely bit down a swear. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Biho!!” 

In a fit of outrage, he hurled the plushie back at the younger goblin with all the force he could muster. It bounced off one of the pillows and landed right on top of Biho’s exposed face, in a perfect landing.

Hansol’s lips parted, curving into a perfect ‘o’ as he gaped at the sight of the plushie sitting completely still over Biho’s face, who still did not show any signs of waking up soon.

Wordlessly, Hansol reached for one of the hamster plushies on his own bed, and carefully threw it in Biho’s direction. This time, it bounced off Biho’s legs and rolled off the bed. 

_Aw, that was a miss_.

And that was how this little ‘game’ started: attempting to throw or stack as many things on Biho while he slept, until he woke up.

Well, if Hansol _had_ to wake this corpse anyway, he might as well have some fun with it.

It started with plushies. Then Biho’s books. And then a random assortment of items on their desks—paper weights, pens, brushes, headphones, you name it. When Hansol ran out of ideas or got desperate, he resorted to using dirty laundry (which, to be fair, was never all that dirty… except Biho’s socks). 

Usually he only managed to barely cover Biho’s body before the man started to wake up for real, and then Hansol would scramble to clear the items off of him as quickly as possible. He didn’t want Biho to realise what he was up to and ruin the fun; this was something Hansol could get used to, after all.

A week passed and still Biho didn’t seem to suspect anything. All he had were questions about why the room was always so messy or why their things were out of place, but he never questioned it further. Innocent, sweet, gullible Biho. Of course he wouldn’t think much of it, especially once Hansol assured him that he had simply been messing around in the room, and would put everything back in their original positions.

Hansol had been proud of himself, thinking that this new routine could work. 

But of course, he should have known his plan wasn’t foolproof. Even if Biho didn’t find out when he woke up, someone in the house would eventually.

“What are you doing?”

Of all days, the question came from the room’s threshold in the midst of a very peculiar and very damning sight: Hansol in the middle of balancing an empty beer can on Biho’s forehead.

And of all people it had to be Yooha. 

He was so screwed. Yooha was going to tell MC and then of course MC would berate him for pulling this on Biho, and tell Biho too. Then Hansol would have to face those sad, puppy eyes and feel bad too.

This was the end of it. His happiness… his dreams…

He wondered if excuses would help. But what possible reason could there be for trying to balance a beer can on a sleeping man’s forehead? It was ridiculous, no matter which way one looked at it.

Still, he attempted to stammer out an excuse. “Y-Yooha… you see, I was just trying to uh, um…” He cursed his inability to lie in situations like these.

The fox remained oddly silent, and the longer it was, the more the tension in the room grew, as did Hansol’s anxiety. This was bad. This was really bad. He was in for it big time.

That was what he thought. Until Yooha stepped towards him, took the beer can from him, and carefully placed it between Biho’s lips and nose instead. The can stayed perfectly still, not showing any signs of falling even though Biho continued to breathe.

“ _That’s_ how you do it,” Yooha grinned a shit-eating grin, mischief sparkling in his eyes. 

That was how Yooha became Hansol’s accomplice. And how this ‘game’ evolved into a competition.

There were three aspects to the competition. 

First—what was the most absurd object one could balance on Biho without waking him? 

Second—how long could one balance said object? 

Third—who would be the one to wake Biho (and by default lose the game)? 

So far, Hansol held the title as champion, having successfully balanced a bowl of ramen on Biho’s knee and successfully eaten it with little to no mess on the sheets. However, that didn’t mean Yooha wasn’t a worthy competitor. 

Over the course of the next few days, the fox challenged his skills going so far as to deliver Hansol’s laundry neatly folded in stacks across Biho’s body. In fact, Yooha and Hansol even bonded over the sleeping goblin. The latter was surprised how enthusiastic the fox had become. 

Just the other night, Yooha suggested a deep talk over shots, of course using Biho’s forehead as a table. But, Hansol immediately refused. As fun as it sounded, it was too risky. The cold glasses and the stench of alcohol would have definitely woken the sleeping baby. 

Yooha’s crazy suggestions didn’t stop there. In fact, they only seemed to escalate, and Hansol should have known the fox’s penchant for mischief would come back to bite them in the butt sooner or later.

That afternoon, Yooha showed up in Hansol’s room with a strange object in hand. An object that looked a little bit too familiar for comfort… 

“Look what I brought!” he said excitedly, and Hansol could imagine him wagging his eight tails in delight as he proudly showed off the item.

Hansol’s eyes widened, first in awe, before his features began contorting in horror and shock. 

Yooha waved the feather duster in front of Hansol’s dumbfounded face. Or more precisely, Taehee’s feather duster. His favorite one, too.

“What are you doing with that? You know how uptight Taehee is with his things, especially his cleaning stuff,” Hansol hissed.

“Relax,” Yooha gave his usual nonchalant shrug, “I’ll put it back where I found it. We’ll be done here before he gets home anyway. No one’s going to find out.”

True… Taehee was at work today and he wouldn’t be back until the evening. Still though, Hansol couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling gnawing at the back of his mind. 

In any case, before he could say anything else, Yooha had swiftly and soundlessly looped the hook of the duster on Biho’s right big toe. The duster swung back and forth slightly like a pendulum, before coming to a still. The sleeping goblin didn’t stir.

Hansol returned his attention to the fox, who was now smirking at him expectantly. “Your turn.” 

“I don’t know about this,” he stammered, the sight of the duster swaying filling his stomach with dread. 

Yooha nodded slowly. “Okay, I get it,” he said. He leaned his hip casually against Biho’s leg further prodding the cleaner. “You’re conceding.” 

“No!” Hansol burst. “It’s just…I’m just—” 

He tore his gaze away from the undisturbed Biho to the fox. Yooha raised a challenging brow which only incited Hansol’s dwindling pride. 

No, he couldn’t lose his title. He was a goblin—the best at stacking in this house. Just look at his laundry! 

Besides, Yooha was right. Taehee usually worked late anyway. 

“Fine,” he returned coolly. With a quick scan of the room, he found a bag of chips he had mostly finished earlier. There were barely crumbs left, but the fragments left would be perfect to showcase his stacking skill. “Watch and learn from the best, okay?” 

Yooha responded with an unimpressed shrug, though the twinkle in his eye betrayed his intrigue. 

Carefully, Hansol extracted a few triangular scraps from the bottom of the bag. Then, summoning all his muscle strength, he steadily lowered them one on top of the other—right at the tip of the duster. 

“Not bad,” Yooha admitted. 

Hansol felt the compliment run straight to his head, and in the rush, he hurriedly dug out another morsel for the finishing touch. 

And that was where it all went wrong… 

Yooha’s brows furrowed as the goblin eagerly continued stacking. He leaned forward to inspect the small, potato mountain, and Hansol waited for another compliment. Instead, the fox pointed his finger to one of the middle slices. 

“Hey, Hansol,” he said. “Is that chip moving?” 

Hansol shook his head. “If it is, it’s because you’re breathing on it. Back up!” 

Surprisingly, Yooha obeyed, but his movements were a little too quick and stilted. And his eyes…grew very wide. 

“What?” Hansol said, glancing back at his creation. Then he saw it. A brown slab with spindly legs creeping over his chip mountain. “C-Cock—” 

He barely finished the next syllable when two wings expanded from the creature. A scream edged up his throat, but he quickly stopped it lest he further harm his beautiful voice. Instead, he chose the next viable option. 

His legs involuntarily propelled him from Biho’s mattress until he nearly collapsed at Yooha’s feet. “Kill it,” he hissed. “Hurry!” 

“How?” Yooha hissed right back, backing up into the corner and ducking reflexively as the cockroach continued to zip across the air. Meanwhile, Hansol shuffled backwards together with Yooha, attempting to use his legs as a shield. 

“You’re a fox! How are you scared of a cockroach?”

“Well you’re a goblin, go burn it then if you’re so brave!”

“No way! It’s gross!” 

“Wait,” an idea clicked in Yooha’s brain. “What if we get the vacuum cleaner? It’s in Taehee’s room.”

“Oh right! I’ll get it!” Already Hansol was heading for the door, evidently prepared to abandon the fox and the _still sleeping goblin_ — how Biho could sleep in this absolute chaos was beyond him and he couldn’t care less at this point. Biho could sleep with the cockroach forever. 

Hansol’s escape was unwittingly thwarted however, when the cockroach came into his line of sight. He jumped back immediately, knocking the back of his head against the side of his desk. He was too preoccupied groaning in pain and soothing the sore spot on his head to realise Yooha grabbing hold of that opportunity and leaping onto his bed, avoiding the cockroach entirely and getting to the door in one swift move.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised over his shoulder, before shutting the door behind him.

Hansol had heard Taehee’s story of how he was betrayed by a friend before, but he never understood what that felt like.

Until today.

“Yooha, I swear I’m going to kill you-” But he couldn’t finish his sentence because the cockroach was there in front of him again, on the wall now, close to the door. It had sealed off his only escape route. He was trapped. And alone. Even his slippers were out of reach. _He was doomed_.

Thankfully, help came in the nick of time. The door swung open with the force of Yooha’s kick, and the fox arrived like a knight in shining armour, brandishing the Byeson vacuum cleaner that Taehee had bought just last week. Relief flooded Hansol. Yooha looked just like a knight in shining armour. 

“Where is it?” Yooha asked, eyes steeled with determination, and the vacuum roared to life. Startled by the sound, the cockroach launched itself into the air again, and Hansol had to clamp his hand over his mouth to keep a shriek from escaping. All he did was point to where the cockroach was, and Yooha began swiping the vacuum in the air in an attempt to suck the pesky creature in. 

Hansol watched in awe—and maybe a little fear—as the fox stormed through the room with his vacuum, like a knight wielding a sword in a duel. The roar of the vacuum echoed through his ears, drowning the buzz of the winged creature in its battle cry. 

“Die already!” Yooha shouted over the clamor. Despite his efforts, the cockroach still managed to evade his strikes. Adeptly, it weaved through the air, sweeping over the beds and sweeping dangerously close to Biho’s sleeping face. 

Normally, Hansol wouldn’t mind. If their game hadn’t woken the goblin, a bug certainly wouldn’t. But a hard, blaring vacuum? 

As the chase continued, Yooha’s enthusiasm seemed to blind him, and a few of his blows were a little too sloppy for Hansol’s comfort. 

“B-Be careful!” He stammered from his hiding spot under the desk. “Don’t hit him!” 

“What?” Yooha called, focus still targeted at the cockroach. His arm swung through the air, again barely missing Biho’s nose. 

“I said be careful!” Hansol shouted louder this time. His muscles tensed as the fox seemed to ignore him. “Don’t hit him!!” 

This time, Yooha spared him a glance sideways. His brows furrowed in confusion. “Don’t hit it? I thought that was the point?” 

Hansol let out a low groan. “Not the bug, idiot! Bi—“ he stopped himself before he uttered the redhead’s name. He would definitely wake up from Hansol’s magically endowed voice calling him. “Don’t wake the baby!”

The vacuum abruptly whirred before falling silent. “There’s a baby?” Yooha hissed. “Whose? Where?” 

“BIHO, you idiot!” Hansol shouted in exasperation. Yooha’s eyebrows shot up, biting back an incredulous laugh at Biho’s nickname. 

“But he’s taller than you—” 

Hansol’s chest swelled with indignance. It might be the stress doing the thinking for him, but he had every mind to shoot a certain finger in the air, and inform Yooha that Biho wasn’t that much taller than him and that Biho was almost a hundred years younger than him, but his thoughts scattered and his mind blanked when he heard a certain redhead’s sleepy voice:

“What’s… going on?”

_Ah, shit_. Just a sweeping glance and Hansol could tell he wouldn’t have an explanation for any of the ridiculous items that were still on Biho’s body — the duster, the chips, the laundry, some random things Yooha found in the bathroom that probably belonged to MC… 

The jig was up. He just hoped Biho wouldn’t get too mad. He actually hadn’t seen Biho get angry before and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. 

His bleary eyes swept over the room once, intermittently pausing to absorb random bits of the chaos. After a long moment of gaping, he seemed to give up on the endeavor. His hand patted over the myriad of cushions and random objects until he found the dolphin plushie. He cradled it to his chest with one last, confused survey of the room before slowly turning his back to the fox and older goblin. 

Hansol only released another breath when the redhead’s own breathing slowed. He likely dismissed the whole thing as a dream…which meant they were safe. 

Gingerly, he stood to his feet, careful to avoid making a single sound during the baby goblin’s early sleep stages. He gestured Yooha to do the same with a brief wave of his hand towards the door. If they made it out of the room, things would go back to normal. The game could continue. Life would be great… 

But he had too much faith in that stupid fox. 

_VROOOOOM!_

Hansol whipped around so hard, his neck throbbed after. Yooha remained in the middle of the room, his shoulders hunched to his ears, and fingers fumbling around the buttons of the machine in his hand emitting the terrible, loud sound. 

“Turn it off!” Hansol hissed, reaching for the contraption himself. 

The fox seemed to find the right button, the noise finally dying back to silence. But it was too late… 

“So, it wasn’t a dream?” They turned their heads and found Biho, fully awake and fully bespectacled, eyeing the various items stacked on him, and slowly brushing them off to the side of his bed. Then he brought his knees to his chest to reach for and remove Taehee’s duster from his toe. 

“Was it you two?” Biho asked in his usual quiet voice. Hansol couldn’t detect a trace of anger in it, which strangely enough, made him even more nervous. Next to him, Yooha was scratching his head, a perplexed look on his face. The internal debate he had going on was obvious, and it was probably showing on Hansol’s face as well.

“Sorry,” Hansol said, shoulders sagging as he dropped his head. Many words crossed his mind but he didn’t even know where to begin. Should he explain how the game worked? How long this had gone on for? Make some kind of excuse and pass this off as a prank? 

He couldn’t think of a single explanation that wouldn’t make Biho mad at him.

“No wonder you’ve been acting weird all week,” Biho said. “You were putting random things on me while I was asleep?” 

“We—” Hansol didn’t get the chance to explain (and probably inevitably condemn himself even further) because the door opened right then, revealing MC’s figure. 

“I heard screaming and the vacuum going off even though Taehee isn’t home… What’s going on here? Are those— Are those my pads?” She pointed at the items on Biho’s bed — Hansol recognised them as the things that Yooha had taken from the bathroom.

He turned to Yooha, who was now looking quite confused. “Pads? What pads?”

“This!” MC held one up, and Hansol swallowed nervously. She looked angry… 

“Oh, sorry,” Yooha replied with a breezy chuckle. Hansol noticed MC’s brow twitch at the fox’s casual demeanour. “They were lying on the counter so I just took a couple for fun… What are they for anyway? I’ve never seen you use them.”

Silence ensued… and not the good kind.

Thankfully, a soft knock on the threshold rescued the three of them from MC’s increasingly intense glare which no doubt would’ve ended in a seething scolding or maye a few of those “pads” hurled at their heads. 

Hansol turned towards their savior only to have his sudden relief morph back into dread. 

Taehee stepped past the doorway, head tilted and his usually sorrowful eyes now alight with alarm as he scanned the mess strewn across the floor.

A tense chuckle swept past his barely upturned lips. “What’s this?” came the hoarse question. 

“Clean” by most people’s standards was dirty to Taehee’s. By that logic, the current state of the room was beyond human—and goblin—comprehension. 

Having no explanation that would appease the man, Hansol sought aid from his other housemates. 

Bad idea…

“You’re home early,” Yooha unhelpfully commented. His indifferent attitude only seemed to exacerbate the other man’s poor mood. They should’ve been begging the oldest goblin for mercy lest they all be dragged into a weekend of cleaning. 

However, that wasn’t even Yooha’s greatest sin. His mistake was drawing attention to himself—or rather drawing attention to the thing in his hand. 

Trepidation seeped into Hansol’s every limb as Taehee’s usually cool expression turned dark. “Is that my vacuum?” 

Of course, Yooha maintained his casual indifference, lifting the goblin’s beloved machine in his palm as if it was a mere broom. “Oh, this? Yeah, I found it in our room.” 

Taehee gritted his teeth through a grin. “But why is it in your greasy hands?”

Ears now flushed red, Yooha opened his mouth, no doubt to reply with his own enraged comeback, but MC stepped between the two. 

“Before you two start,” she began, hands outstretched as if to physically stop them from mauling each other over a machine. “Would someone like to explain what happened here? Why is there random stuff from the house on Biho’s bed?” 

Hansol inhaled deeply. It was up to him apparently. He would just have to rack his brain for the most eloquent, poetic alibi he could muster. However, when before he could so much as voice a syllable, found the fingers of his treacherous roommates pointed straight at him. 

Mouth falling agape in utter disbelief, he dragged his gaze between his accusers—Biho and Yooha. His “ _friends_.”

“Hansol was stacking things on me while I slept,” Biho said bluntly. 

“Then he dragged me into it,” Yooha added. The _snake_. 

Hansol let out a string of unintelligible syllables. “B-But, you— and Biho wouldn’t—And Yooha, you—” 

MC and Taehee turned to the blond, both wearing the same disappointed expression…like parents about to scold their child.

“Is that true, Hansol?” MC said, sounding more saddened than exasperated now. “Did you do that to poor Biho?” 

Every excuse Hansol had prepared in the face of his own guilt—or rather just the puppy eyes of Biho, glimmering in his general direction. He hung his head with a short sigh. 

“Yeah. Sorry, Biho,” he mumbled towards the redhead. 

Biho accepted the apology with a sleepy nod, and Hansol turned to Yooha expectantly. 

The fox rolled his eyes. “I guess I’m sorry too,” he said. “Though it was fun. I didn’t know anyone could sleep so hard.” 

“Buzz off.” 

Everyone startled at Biho’s uncharacteristically crass reply. 

“What did you just say to me?” Yooha returned, knuckles tightening around the vacuum. 

“I was talking about the bug flying,” the redhead replied calmly, though Hansol wasn’t thoroughly convinced about the bug. 

Oh, wait… 

“Bug?” MC asked. 

As if on cue, the soft droning of wings gradually filled the empty silence.

“COCKROACH!” Yooha and Hansol screamed at the same time just as the creature itself re-emerged onto the scene, swooping among the beds and sending the house members into chaos. 

With a scream, MC fled the room. Hansol and Biho tried to follow but were blocked by Yooha who had resumed waving the vacuum through the air to “defend MC’s honor.” 

Poor Taehee was now resorting to grappling Yooha’s shoulders in attempts to retrieve his precious machine. “It’s not intended for bugs!” 

“Well, do you have a better idea?” 

“Use your slipper!” 

“Use yours—OW! That was my head!” 

“Oh, sorry, I mistook you for a cockroach.” 

“I’ll show you who’s a cockroach!” 

Hansol groaned as the bickering continued, now accompanied with Taehee’s complaints as Yooha tried to vacuum _him_. 

He turned to the redhead who had curled up in a ball next to him under the desk. “Biho,” he began. “Next time, wake up when I ask?” 

Biho hummed thoughtfully. “I’ll try my best.”

It sounded sincere enough. Hansol nodded, turning his head back to the chaos before them, with Yooha and Taehee both trying to attack the cockroach. Actually, maybe it would be better if they left the room rather than stayed under the desk — there was no telling when the cockroach would swoop in here and kill them both.

“Biho, let’s go.” Hansol tugged on the goblin’s sleeve, but he didn’t get an affirmative “Mm” or “Okay” that he usually received. 

“Biho?” Hansol turned his head. And there was Biho, with his eyes closed, head resting against the wall, asleep. Again.

A string of curses went off in Hansol’s head. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid_ —

“ _KANG BIHO_!”


	3. How to Train A Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can foxes be trained? Biho decides to find out.

If Biho had to describe Yooha’s general personality towards his housemates, he would choose any negative word in the dictionary. Even the most amiable interactions with the fox included at least one sarcastic remark—borderline caustic if Taehee was involved. 

However, Biho began to observe a pattern. In very specific situations, there was a constant digression from Yooha’s usual temperament. His sour moods would turn drastically sweet. His frowns would quickly morph into blindingly bright grins. And those tails would pop out, sending fur fluttering into the air and Taehee’s sanity with it.

What were those specific situations? Well, from Biho’s observations, these behavioral deviations occurred around a single person—MC. 

Just the other day Biho watched Yooha vehemently refuse to touch the porridge Taehee had made, muttering something about “all the wrong textures.” He wouldn’t even lift his spoon until MC coaxed him to eat one bite, patting his head when he took two instead. 

Since then, Yooha had eaten a full bowl of porridge three times. 

It worked with verbal praise as well. A “ _Good boy!_ ” from MC was enough to get the fox to do acrobatics if she so asked. Had it been any one of the goblins, he would’ve continued to idle on the couch, wine glass in hand, as usual. 

Despite his passionate aversion to being compared to a dog, Yooha exhibited numerous puppy-like behaviors—even going so far as to stare out the window, pining every time MC left the house. Not to mention the tail-wagging… 

The behavior annoyed Hansol and Taehee, but it fascinated Biho. It reminded him of numerous books he had read about operant conditioning—using reinforcers to shape an animal’s behaviour. Like giving dog treats to train a dog to perform the right tricks.

A peculiar, curious thought occurred to him the next time he saw Yooha sit at MC’s command, and receive a gracious smile after:

Could he train Yooha to behave? 

Biho began his experiment by observing the things that Yooha liked. He needed to use something to reinforce the rare, occasionally good behaviours. MC wasn’t an option—she was too busy to stay at home and conduct this experiment with him. 

The answer came to him quite easily when he heard Taehee complain about how the persimmons he’d just bought the day before were already gone. 

Perfect. Biho took the opportunity to volunteer to get more persimmons, and bought a couple extra in the process for his personal use.

The next step was to find behaviours that he wanted to correct… which were too many to count. It took a long time for Biho to organise everything in his notebook, but eventually he did it. Yooha’s actions were listed and classed neatly in different levels of difficulty to correct. Now all Biho had to do was pick one to kickstart everything.

He began with the easiest: morning greetings. 

Yooha seemed to think that a rough grunt sufficed for a greeting whenever he passed by his housemates in the morning. To his credit, he did offer a proper “Good morning” on some days, the tones varying in degrees of cheerfulness depending on how sleep-deprived or rested he was. But that didn’t happen as frequently as the rest of the housemates, who were accustomed to doing it every day. 

So, Biho prepared himself. Every morning, he’d tuck a few persimmons into his pocket before joining the rest of his housemates in the kitchen for breakfast. The first few mornings were uneventful. Yooha, having worked late all week, barely spared a nod let alone his usual grunt. However, as the days progressed, Biho finally got a begrudging “Good morning” from the fox. 

As he read, he quickly distributed the reward within one minute to ensure the subconscious association. The first occurrence earned him a suspicious stare from his housemate, but Biho made some excuse about taking too many in his pocket as an evening snack. Thankfully, Yooha never turned down a persimmon and accepted the fruit—and thus the bait for the experiment. 

If he was being honest with himself, Biho didn’t actually believe it would work—or at least not as well as it did. But then the next day, Yooha showed up for breakfast and mumbled a quiet “Good morning” under his breath. He was rewarded with a persimmon, and he accepted it just as easily as the day before. The same thing happened a few days later. And another few days later.

Sure enough, a few weeks into the experiment, Yooha was muttering a morning greeting almost every day. 

Mission success. It was time for the next step.

The next item on the agenda was getting Yooha to compliment him. The fox tended to be stingy with his compliments, reserving them almost exclusively for MC. And if this succeeded, maybe he’d naturally start being nicer to Hansol and Taehee too. 

This experiment wasn’t going to be as easy, but Biho was looking forward to the challenge. 

It took a lot longer to find the right opportunity this time, and at some point Biho started to worry about the persimmons going bad. Thankfully, he managed to find a solution: dried persimmons. He had heard from MC that Yooha loved her grandmother’s persimmons. The pack he’d managed to find in the supermarket downtown probably wouldn’t be as good, but they would have to do. 

All that was left was to be patient and wait.

But after three whole days of absolutely nothing, Biho decided he would have to be more creative. He decided to go shopping for new clothes, requesting for MC to go with him. She had happily complied, in fact seeming to take immense delight in hurling clothes of various fits and styles in his arms and ushering him to the changing room so he could model the clothes for her.

MC’s compliments continued all the way home. Back home, Taehee and Hansol took notice of his new look, both complimenting him on how good he looked. Hansol in particular had been beaming and pinching his cheeks, rambling about how the “baby goblin” looked more mature and grown up now. 

As shy and slightly embarrassing as Biho felt from being stared at for a lot longer than he was used to, the quiet goblin felt happy — receiving this many compliments was a nice confidence booster.

Now all that was left was for Yooha to take his turn. 

Sure enough, when the fox sauntered into the living room, swirling a glass of wine in his hand, he paused for a moment in his steps to do a double-take at the sight of Biho’s makeover.

“Hey, Yooha! What do you think of Biho’s new look?” MC, the stylist, had asked excitedly. 

Yooha’s eyes roamed over Biho’s figure, sizing him up and giving an appreciative nod.

“It looks nice.”

Finally. A compliment. And all it took was three-quarters of his monthly paycheck to get one. 

Unable to suppress his smile, Biho muttered his thanks and eagerly reached into the pocket of his new pants to retrieve the small pack of dried persimmons in it.

“I just remembered I had these. Would you like some?”

Yooha’s eyes had lit up, and gleefully accepted the food. 

Over the next two days, Biho wore the other two outfits that MC had selected for him, and each had successfully drawn a compliment from the fox. And each time, he was rewarded with dried persimmons.

Everything was going well. But Biho started to worry when he ran out of new clothes to show off. He needed something else, another trick, or maybe Yooha wouldn’t say anything.

As it turned out, he didn’t need to, quite surprisingly. Maybe even miraculously. 

The day after Biho returned to wearing his favourite orange tracksuit at home, he was sitting on the couch reading another book about conditioning—to get inspiration for other things that he could try doing.

He was so engrossed that he didn’t even notice Yooha joining him on the couch.

“What’re you doing?” The familiar voice startled Biho, who immediately snapped the book close. Thankfully, the fox was sitting too far away to notice, and he never really took an interest in the books that Biho read anyway. 

“Just doing some reading,” was Biho’s measured reply, hoping that it was convincing enough that Yooha wouldn’t ask further. 

Thankfully, it worked. 

“You’re always doing that,” Yooha muttered with small eye roll, though the small smirk playing on his lips indicated that it wasn’t a mean-spirited remark. “You’re pretty hardworking, aren’t you?”

Biho raised his head, eyes widening in surprise. He had just gotten an actual compliment from Yooha… even without doing anything out of the ordinary. Was he dreaming? This was real, right? 

“Why do you look so shocked?” Yooha asked, raising a brow. “Did I say something weird?”

“Oh. No, you didn’t.” Biho struggled to school his expression back into something more neutral, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Thanks.” 

A pack of dried persimmons appeared in his hand, and he offered it to the fox. “Would you like some?”

The question was a rhetorical one.

More and more of these little incidents started to happen, each time rewarded with a few dried persimmons. Eventually, Yooha’s simple compliments began to extend to Hansol too, who reacted with surprise and glee each time. There was still nothing for Taehee, but that was only to be expected. Progress was progress. 

The improved behavior started to catch the others’ attention, judging by Hansol’s increased affection towards the fox and MC’s pleased smiles. Taehee on the other hand… 

“Hey, Biho, can I ask you something?” he said one day after breakfast. Everyone else had dispersed from the table, eager to avoid Taehee’s silent request to do the dishes. Biho was too slow today… 

“Hm?” he replied, barely suppressing a grimace as a piece of wet, leftover food slid down one of the plates. Maybe getting the fox to do dishes should be the next part of the agenda…

“Is it just me or is Yooha… nicer lately?” he asked. 

Slowly, Biho turned to face the older goblin. Judging by the way he paused his aggressive cleaning, he must have been very disturbed. 

“Is he?” Biho replied nonchalantly. Yooha was certainly better, but the younger goblin couldn’t stop thinking about that mountain of a list in his room. There was still a lot to be done. 

“You haven’t noticed?” Taehee sputtered. “He says nice things, does nice things—it’s freaking me out!” 

Biho tilted his head at the man’s exasperation. “Do you want it to stop?” 

Taehee waved his hands in earnest protest. “No! No, that’s not it,” he said. “It’s just… you think someone’s meddling with him? Like some magic or…” 

His words drifted off in a sigh. Biho cleared his throat, shoving down the urge to smile. Had he been bolder, he might have commented on Taehee’s blatant worry for the fox, but he spared his fellow goblin the embarrassment of exposed endearment. 

“It was me,” he admitted. 

Taehee’s eyes widened, attention snapping to the younger goblin. For a long moment, he gaped, mouth ajar before actually forming words again. “Y-You have a new power?” 

“Power?” Biho echoed. He shook his head. “No, I’ve just been training him.” 

The explanation only worsened Taehee’s confusion. Slowly, his head lifted as if to nod, but obviously he didn’t understand. 

“Conditioning,” Biho attempted to clarify. 

A soft chuckle bubbled up Taehee’s throat. The same kind he offered whenever he tried to entertain Hansol’s bad jokes or one of MC’s strange baking recipes that everyone knew would fail. However, when Biho didn’t react, the older goblin grew solemn—and slightly concerned. 

“You’re being serious?” 

Biho hesitated. Carefully, he weighed the pros and cons of telling Taehee. On the one hand, he might gain outsider feedback on the efficacy of the experiment. On the other hand, his righteous friend might tell him to stop…

But then again, Yooha was involved. 

With a short sigh, he peeled off his cleaning gloves and tossed them aside before digging into his pocket. He procured a piece of notebook paper—a smaller, more concise version of his list upstairs. Taehee took it, eyes darting between the contents and Biho. 

The farther he went down the list, the higher his brows rose up his forehead. For a moment, Biho was afraid the older goblin would deem his experiment unethical or worse, mean. 

Instead, he watched in relief as Taehee’s lips curled upwards. He thought he might just get some feedback, but seeing the glint behind the man’s eyes, Biho was pretty sure he just gained an accomplice—no, no, an _assistant_. 

It was hard at first to think of the role Taehee could play in _this_. He couldn’t be giving Yooha persimmons—the fox would immediately get suspicious and the experiment would be found out in an instant. Taehee also had trouble coming up with good suggestions on the spot—so he suggested meeting that night to discuss the plan. 

The late-night rendezvous took place in the living room, when everyone else was already asleep. The only light source was the dim yellow glow of the lamp on the coffee table, which cast a haunting glow on Taehee’s somber expression.

The older goblin raised his head to stare in Biho’s direction when he heard the approaching footsteps. “Let’s begin.”

Though sensible as he was, Biho expected Taehee to entertain his little experiment much like an older brother entertains a sibling’s project. However, he hadn’t expected the goblin to take it this seriously…

In addition to the large list tucked under Biho’s arm, it seemed they now also had a binder full of Taehee’s ideas, spread neatly onto the coffee table. And was it…color-coded? 

Deciding it best not to open that door, Biho simply took his seat across from Taehee. “What did you have in mind?” 

The man’s eyes lit with borderline (psychotic) glee, and the redhead already knew the answer. “Cleaning,” he replied. “I won’t expect much—just the bare minimum.” 

The redhead rubbed the back of his neck. Bare minimum from Taehee was…well, Biho didn’t come into this to torture Yooha. Even he had his ethical limits for this experiment. 

“We can’t accomplish so much—we can only condition Yooha into doing the easy things,” Biho pointed out. Taehee seemed to find that reasonable. Picking up the binder, he started flipping through the pages, brows furrowed in concentration. 

“Okay, I have a couple of ideas. The easiest ones out of everything here,” Taehee said after a while.

It was still a long list, but after further discussion with Biho, the list was shortened to just four things:

Doing the dishes  
Making the bed  
Vacuuming the floor   
Dusting the corners   
The chores themselves were relatively simple. The challenge was introducing the behavior in the first place without arousing suspicion. 

Cleaning day was every other weekend, but the gaps between the rewards would render the experiment useless. That was where Taehee came in…

That weekend, he came home from his volunteer work with a bandage around each of his wrists and a convincing diagnosis of his debilitating sprains. 

MC and Hansol were, of course, concerned and offered to help around the house. Biho, too, added a brief remark to set the stage. Yooha, however, had his usual quips prepared. 

“What? You think he’ll actually let you guys help?” he snorted. “I’ll give him two days before his muscles magically repair from sheer willpower to clean ‘properly.’” 

Biho sighed. He really needed to counter-condition that sarcasm…soon. 

Still, the fox had a point. Taehee was usually too specific when it came to cleaning, but thankfully, the older goblin played his part well, exaggerating the “injury” and even going so far as to “worsen” it by said cleaning the next day. 

Unwittingly, they got MC involved when she scolded the oldest goblin into practically bed-rest and forced the others, including Yooha, to be more helpful around the house.

That made getting dishes done the easiest task on the list. The housemates would cycle the responsibility in pairs, so Biho made a point to be paired with the fox, to the latter’s chagrin. Though, he supposed the persimmons made him less disagreeable over time. 

By the third day, Yooha had done the whole batch of dishes without a single grumble. 

The task of making the bed was slightly more challenging, but Biho managed that as well. 

He offered Taehee help that first day, and when he noticed Yooha lounging in his tangle of sheets inside his tiny closet…

“Oh, I see you haven’t had the chance to make your bed. Would you like help as well?” 

The comment felt hypocritical considering his own unkempt space just next door, but Biho suppressed the guilt for now. For the sake of the experiment. 

And for good cause. After an indignant comeback muttered under his breath, Yooha did the task and was consequently rewarded. 

Biho wasn’t sure if the conditioning was working well or if the fox was just tired of having the younger goblin’s commentary every morning, but by the end of the week, Yooha’s bed was voluntarily kept neat. 

The harder task—perhaps the hardest—would be getting the fox to clean up his own shedding, though Biho wouldn’t dare point out the existence of the white fur on almost every piece of furniture. 

Taehee wasn’t so hesitant. 

“It’s not my fur!” 

“Then how do you explain all this white hair everywhere?” 

“Maybe you’re aging, old man.” 

“You’re older than me!” 

“Exactly, so why don’t you try respecting me more.” 

Biho rubbed his temple as the continued bickering drifted down the hall. Perhaps this was a good time to begin the conditioning…before Taehee did something rash and jeopardized the whole thing. 

After equipping himself with Taehee’s vacuum cleaner, he entered the room of the arguing men, though both had fallen into a tense silence. 

Said silence was rudely interrupted by a loud “VROOOM!” when Biho switched it on, startling both of them who leapt a good few inches into the air. 

“The pollen is bothering me,”Biho said over the vacuum though he was sure he wasn’t heard over the vacuum. 

Still, he continued, purposely staying closer to Yooha’s side of the room. He could sense the fox’s annoyance already from the occasional glare over the top of his magazine. But the final straw was when the redhead slammed the vacuum against the bottom of the bed. And very, very close to Yooha’s draping tail. 

“Watch it will you!” The fox jumped. He shook his head in exasperation when Biho continued. Next thing the goblin knew, the vacuum was wrenched from his hands. “Give me that.” 

Now Yooha, insulted as he was, was miraculously cleaning his own fur. His plan was accomplished. 

Although Taehee once again almost ruined it…his pained expression as Yooha held his “beloved” machine was way too obvious. 

“I can’t take this,” he muttered. “Seeing him hold it like that—maybe I should just—Hey, Yoo—hmmph!“ 

Before Biho could thoroughly think through his actions, his hand slapped over Taehee’s mouth with a loud thwack. 

Both goblins stood in stunned silence until Taehee’s features darkened in a growing glare. Biho gulped.

_Oops_ …

“Ah, h-here,” he stammered out, dragging his fingers over the man’s mouth again as if dusting something off. Resisting the urge to wince at the reddening hand mark, he snatched a tissue from Taehee’s nightstand and continued to wipe a nonexistent substance from his lips. “You had some crumbs.” 

Taehee pressed his lips together, looking wholly unconvinced, but he seemed too preoccupied by the fox who still had his machine in his clutches to scold him. 

“Anyway,” Biho went on, collecting his wits again. “You should have more patience. Good things come to those who wait.” 

And it did. His patience paid off eventually. On the fateful Cleaning Day, Biho overheard Yooha telling Hansol to remember to dust the _corners_ properly. He even handed Taehee’s favourite duster to the blond, before saying that he would be vacuuming the house. 

The experiment was a glowing success, and Biho was overjoyed. Ecstatic. Even Taehee looked proud when he saw the fox vacuuming without having to tell him to do it. 

But in the midst of his internal celebration, Biho failed to realise the stunned look on Hansol’s face. Or MC’s confused face when Yooha passed her by, with the vroom of the vacuum announcing his presence. 

In this experiment, Biho had forgotten about one teeny, tiny detail. And it related to the housemates who were out of the loop to Yooha’s new behaviour. 

That was how everything went wrong. 

“Yooha? Are you… okay?” MC asked, struggling to be heard over the sound of the vacuum. She had to repeat herself after Yooha switched it off. 

“Yeah. I’m great. Why?”

“Because… well… how should I put it?” 

“You never clean,” Hansol interrupted bluntly, pointing to the vacuum. “What’s gotten into you? You usually hate Cleaning Day. But just now you told me to dust the corners properly. The corners.”

Yooha blinked a couple of times, a blank expression on his face. And Biho watched the exchange with growing anxiety. A quick glance stolen at Taehee told him the older goblin was thinking the same.

“You’re right…” Yooha muttered, looking down at the vacuum. “What’s up with me?”

“It’s not a bad thing,” MC was quick to qualify it, and Biho exhaled in relief, thinking that that would be the end of it. That Cleaning Day would continue as it did without any hitches. 

He couldn’t be more wrong.

“But I’m a bit worried about you,” MC continued with a frown. “You’ve been acting pretty different recently.”

“Different?” Yooha asked, scratching his head. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’re nice now,” Hansol replied, and he immediately raised his hands in surrender when Yooha cast a sharp glare his way.

“ _Nicer_ ,” MC added quickly, only to shake her head frantically at Yooha’s raised brow. “Not that you weren’t nice before, it’s just—ah, how do I put this?”

Yooha shifted his gaze from the girl to his own hands. He stared at his open palms as if contemplating an unspeakable deed he had committed. “No, you’re right,” he said slowly. “I haven’t exactly been feeling myself lately. Like sometimes, I’ll get up in the morning and feel super itchy if I don’t make my bed.” 

Hansol snorted but silenced himself under MC’s glare. “Sorry,” he added. “It’s just you sounded like Taehee just now.” 

Biho stiffened at the comparison. Were they too obvious? 

Yooha let out an indignant cry, rubbing his arms as if the words would stick on his skin. “Don’t compare me to that weirdo. It’s nothing like that. I think I’ve just had extra time lately. Once I start working regularly again, I’ll be back to myself.” 

Again, Biho dared to let relief wash over him when the fox returned to cleaning with a casual shrug. Maybe it really was over this time…

“Then again…” 

Or not. 

Yooha turned towards the oldest goblin, suspicion seeping into his grey eyes. “Kim Taehee, you have been hanging over me a lot lately.” 

“I have?” Taehee replied, voice strung just a little too high. 

Biho flopped into one of the half dusted chairs and buried his face into his hands. Goblins couldn’t lie in general, but Taehee was the worst at cover-ups when it came to less important things. It was over. 

“Yeah, you have,” Yooha continued, his shoulders stiffening in defense. He pointed the duster in his hand towards the goblin. “You tainted me, didn’t you?” 

Taehee laughed. “Tainted you with what? Cleanliness? Good habits?” 

“Yeah!” Yooha burst, but faltered. “Wait no, well—you know what I mean!” 

Taehee crossed his arms over his chest. “No, I don’t.” 

_Good_ , Biho thought. _He’s sounding a bit more confident now_. 

“And you. Kang Biho. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you hanging around me even more than this clean freak over here. Did you do something to me?”

“ _What_ did you just call me?”

“I just thought… we were getting closer to each other,” Biho said innocently, and instantly everyone’s eyes were on Yooha, the pointed, unspoken accusations in their glares making him shrink back a little.

“Yooha, that was mean,” MC said. Hansol chimed in as well, and even Taehee nodded in agreement, although he stole a surreptitious glance at the redhead, raising a brow as a tiny, impressed smile lifted his lips. 

Soon, Yooha was left defenseless. His clumsy excuses fell on deaf ears. How could he say something so horrible to the goblin who wouldn’t even harm a fly? 

“I didn’t realise I was causing you trouble,” Biho added, which only stoked the flames to the fire burning Yooha at the metaphorical stake, in the middle of the living room. Okay, even Biho felt a little bad when he met Yooha’s confused, disoriented gaze. He might be going a bit too far with this. 

“Okay, sorry! Yeah, I shouldn’t have doubted you. I mean, you’ve been giving me all those dried persimmons… every time I…” 

Yooha’s voice trailed off then, his mouth hanging open and face freezing as some kind of revelation seemed to strike him in that moment. 

Biho had a bad feeling about this. Maybe he should confess before—

“Now that you mention it, lately Biho has been giving Yooha persimmons every time he does something good. It’s like… a reward?” MC wondered aloud.

With a snicker, Hansol managed to make things sound ten times worse than it already did. “Oh my god. Has Biho been _training_ you?” 

“It wasn’t _training_ ,” Biho defended, indignant at the misnomer. Conditioning wasn’t exactly the same as training a dog… probably. “I simply conducted a well-thought out psychological experiment.” 

He flinched at Hansol’s burst of loud laughter. “You trained him!” the blond said, now clutching his side in his hysterical amusement. Even MC failed to hide her escaping giggles. “Like a dog!” 

Biho could feel the color draining from his face as soon as Hansol mentioned the “d-word.” With a hard swallow, he braced himself to look at Yooha, who up until this point, had been uncharacteristically silent—and the conditioning had no hand in that. 

The dread that had been building in his chest up to this point now infiltrated the rest of his limbs. Biho prided himself in usually keeping a cool head, never blatantly showing his fears to others. 

However, seeing the fox’s face flushing red from either embarrassment or anger—or worse, _both_ —the redhead found himself tripping over his own feet to scurry behind the couch. 

“I was just trying to help everyone get along better,” Biho protested, trying to anticipate Yooha’s imminent response. It would probably involve a bunch of swear words and a dramatic exit after cussing both him and Taehee out (because obviously Taehee wouldn’t escape unscathed, how could he?). 

But Yooha didn’t throw a tantrum or yell at him like he expected him to. Yooha’s face remained downcast, and in the awkward silence that ensued after Biho’s pathetic attempt at defending himself, there came a small voice from the group. 

“Am I… that bad of a housemate to you guys?” 

Instantly, everyone around the fox was plagued with guilty faces, and MC and Hansol were quick to flank his sides and shower him with their reassurances.

“No, you’re _not_! It’s been so much fun with you living here!” 

“Yeah! What MC said! Plus you’re my beer buddy!” 

Yooha let out a sharp huff. “But am I really such a nuisance in the important stuff?” 

Biho caught the look on Taehee’s face that had the word ‘yes’ written all over it. A sharp glare from MC at the man was enough to make him school his expression into something more neutral. 

“Of course not,” she interjected before anyone had the chance to comment. “We all pull our equal share here. So what if you don’t make the bed first thing in the morning? None of us do.” 

Again, she silenced Taehee’s impending comment with a single look. 

“Anyway,” she went on. “You always show you’re thinking of us, even if you don’t say it often.” 

Yooha gave a half-hearted smile, obviously unpersuaded still. 

Biho sighed. Perhaps he should add something, considering he was partially responsible for this. “It’s true,” he said, emerging from his hiding spot and daring to step closer to the fox. “You always leave gifts for us, whenever you get things from your sponsored jobs. I have three new cardigans now.” 

“That’s right!” Hansol lit up. “You gave me that Schteam gift card when you modeled for that gaming company!” 

The encouraging words seemed to lift Yooha’s spirits a little, but not as much as when MC patted his head. “And you’re always giving me new wardrobe pieces to expand my style,” she said. “That always makes my day!” 

“I didn’t get any gifts,” Taehee interjected, also stepping closer to the group. 

Yooha clicked his tongue. “What are you talking about? I just gave you one last week.” 

“It was a signed picture of you!” 

“Picture? It was a magazine! And do you know how much money my autograph is worth now?” 

Biho resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the thankfully brief argument continued. He decided it wasn’t the best time to mention that the mysterious appearance of those high-end pens Taehee loved so much were really strategically placed gifts from the fox. 

“Anyway,” he interjected in a momentary pocket of silence. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my experiment.” 

Yooha deflated a little at the reminder, but with another sympathetic head pat from MC, he perked back up. “I suppose you meant no harm,” he said. His usual impish grin returned to his face. “But you should make it up to me. I was really hurt!” 

Biho doubted the lasting trauma of the incident, but he hummed in agreement. “Sure. Do you want me to condition Taehee in revenge?” 

“Biho!” came the protest of the betrayed. 

“No… I have something better in mind,” Yooha grinned, and Biho swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He did not like the sound of that. 

****

“Do we really have to do this?” Taehee groaned, dragging the spare mattress over to Biho and Hansol’s room, with his pillow tucked under his arm. 

“I don’t think we have much of a choice,” Biho muttered from his bed, and as Taehee shuffled in, struggling to get the mattress spread out neatly in the cramped space between Biho and Hansol’s beds, Yooha lingered behind him in the doorway. The fox was clearly enjoying himself, watching the disgusted, constipated expression on Taehee’s face as he tried not to notice the stray crumbs of food on the floor, under the beds, and the mess of books, posters strewn all over the room. 

He had been banished to sleep in Biho and Hansol’s room for one night; a very fitting punishment for the clean freak.

“Why does it feel like _I’m_ the only one being punished here?” Taehee huffed, shooting a pointed look at Biho, who was just lounging in his bed. 

“Nope. He’s punishing me as well,” Biho said. 

“How?”

“You’re going to nag at me until I clean up.” 

Taehee tried to refuse it, but… “Actually…do you mind picking up that chip bag? It’s under your bed. I feel like it’s going to stare at me all night.” 

Biho tightened his jaw lest a not-so-respectful remark slipped past his tongue. With a strained “Mhmm”, he reached down and dug for the old bag and tossed it into the trash, adding more force than necessary. Thankfully, Taehee got the hint and quietly resumed his set up. 

“By the way,” Yooha interjected. Both goblins tensed at that devilish tone behind his voice. He leaned his back against the threshold, slouching his body against the wall with borderline provocativeness. “What do you guys think of my new silk pajamas?” 

Biho let out a quiet groan of his own. Besides the punishment of being locked in a room with Taehee for a whole night, the fox also requested he “be praised” for the remainder of the week. At least three compliments a day.

“It’s… red,” was Taehee’s lacklustre response. A sharp elbow to his side from the younger goblin had him clearing his throat and scrambling to add something else while Yooha looked on expectantly. “I guess… the red really brings out your _white_ hair.” 

Biho wanted to kill him. That was a purposeful jab, they all knew Yooha had a thing for correcting them whenever they called his hair “white”, insisting it was silver instead. Biho was never able to tell the difference or understand why it even mattered to Yooha, but that was that. 

Yooha sighed, shaking his head. It was like he had given up on expecting anything nice from Taehee, and Biho shared his sentiments. Maybe he _should_ have tried to condition Taehee next. 

“Good try, doctor.” Then his gaze shifted to Biho, whose mind decided to draw a blank in that instant. Think, _think_. There had to be something nice to say, something positive, something… 

“Don’t you already have one like that?” 

In the end, he was no better than Taehee.

“Wow, you guys are really bad at this,” Yooha commented, though the chuckle that slipped past his lips indicated he wasn’t taking offense. “Oh well. This is fun enough.”

“Are you done? We want to sleep,” Taehee snapped, as he swiped at the floor with a piece of tissue, trying to pick out random dust bunnies. He glanced at Biho, another nagging comment on his gaping mouth, but it seemed that the desperation behind the redhead’s eyes was enough to earn the older goblin’s mercy. 

“Looks to me like you won’t be getting much sleep, actually,” came the fox’s taunting voice.

Taehee sighed, once again stricken by silence. 

“You know,” Biho said, lowering himself back on his soft bed. With all the commotion earlier, he didn’t get his full day’s sleep. He desperately needed a nap. “Shouldn’t you go and enjoy your room?” 

“You’re right,” Yooha mumbled. “That freak will show up at exactly 8 o’clock in the morning. I should go now.”

Taehee responded with a menacing smile. The fox shivered, rubbing his arms and muttering some type of slander as he scurried away. 

For a while, a silence enveloped the room. Hansol had gone away for the night, and as neither Biho nor Taehee were especially talkative, the only sound that fell into the room was the soft hush of the fountain outside. 

Biho didn’t hate it. He lay back on his bed, letting his exhaustion seep away into the soft sheets.

It was peaceful. Calm. Tranquil. 

At least until Taehee’s loud gasp sent the serenity shattering into pieces. Biho rubbed his burning eyes, too scared to actually look at the goblin and find the reason behind his sudden bustling about. 

_Please don’t be cleaning_ , Biho prayed. 

“What’s wrong?” he ventured aloud. 

“I can’t do this,” Taehee said bluntly. 

Biho sighed, gathering all his patience. “We have to.” 

“I know, but—” Taehee let out another groan. “I just thought of something.” 

“The pile of cans at the corner? Just ignore it and go to sleep. There hasn’t been ants in months anyway.”

“No, not that— wait, WHAT?”

Ah, crap. Biho had just dug his own grave, hadn’t he? “What were you thinking about?” he asked, in a desperate attempt to redirect Taehee’s attention to whatever it was that made him gasp so loud.

“I- You- I-” Taehee’s struggle to form a coherent sentence probably indicated that he was deciding which issue to pursue. Thankfully, he didn’t pick the pile of cans. 

“Yooha. He’s going to mess up my room. My _bed_. What if he rolls around on it and gets his fur everywhere? I’ll need to disinfect the entire room.” 

Having no light to show his face, Biho allowed himself a single eye roll. “I don’t think Yooha would do that. He’s probably just going to drink his wine and watch something.” 

“You think?” Taehee said. “You’re probably right.” 

Biho was definitely right. However, he didn’t comment, and thankfully, Taehee didn’t push further. Instead, the soft shuffle of sheets was a good indicator that the goblin finally settled. 

Settled for a total of two minutes. 

“Hold on, did you mention ants before?” 

Biho wanted to cry. 

As Taehee turned on the lights, his feather duster magically in hand, Biho swore a solemn oath to himself. 

He would never, _ever_ conduct an experiment on his housemates again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! We hope you had a good laugh! 
> 
> For more wannabe content from us, feel free to check out our tumblr: wannabetwins.tumblr.com!


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